This is “haunted house” type stuff: footsteps, voices, apparitions, furniture or other objects moving without human agency, odors with no discernible source. Rather than directly affecting people, infestations affect only property, objects, or even animals.
4 degrees of demonic possession Kathleen Troost-Cramer | Mercury | @KTroostC
These next three journal post are going to be the hardest for me to write. The others were upsetting, but I was used to being treated that way by my mother, just not to that extreme. This came out of the blue and a complete shock.
The Beginning of a Beautiful Friendship
My husband, Ron, and I met online in January 2001. He said it was the best birthday present he ever had received because he came across my email in his inbox right after his birthday. I had just obtained my divorce papers in December; however, the marriage was over way before then. When people ask how long my first marriage was, I would always reply, “seven years; six and a half years too long.”
I was looking for a nice man to just hang out and do fun things with. I am not too much of a girly-girl who wants to go shopping and gossip. I like the company of men because I am more of a tomboy, and they generally don’t do a lot of complaining or drama. Which I found in my experiences; a lot of women have a habit of doing just that and it gets tiresome after a while. Back at that time the internet was just getting started and there weren’t too many connection sites available like today, with Match.com and eHarmony. But I eventually found a site called “Friend Finder” and that was what I was doing, right? Finding a friend.
Perusing though all the pictures and posts, no one really jumped out at me as interesting until I landed on this cute looking guy, who had a great profile. He had a good and steady job as an airline mechanic and seemed to enjoy doing all of things I liked to do. He even smoked; something you don’t find too much these days.
Hmm, might be interesting. I sent him an email introducing myself, a latest picture and hoped for the best.
A few days later, I did get a response back. It started off with a couple of emails and then he asked for my phone number. I am definitely not a Chatty Cathy and not a fan of just chitchatting on the phone but, with him it was so easy. It was like we knew each other already and we could talk for hours. Ron would normally call after he got home from his second shift job and we would gab sometimes until 1:00 in the morning.
Our first face-to-face meeting was at a Mexican restaurant across the street from where I worked at the time and was on his way to work. I remember the first time I saw him in person, like it was yesterday, he was so good looking and had a great body!! No way he was going to be interested in plain old me. The most surprising thing was when he first met me, he gave me a kiss on the cheek. How shocking!! I am from the Mid-West where we are not demonstrative with any kind of affection. Come to find out he was a New Jersey Italian and that is the way they all greet family and friends. O.K., I think I can get used to that little custom, no problem; especially if he is doing the kissing.
For our second date, I was working at home that day. He came up the opposite direction from his work to meet me at a McDonald’s for a quick lunch. How sweet! He lived about 30 minutes away and another 30 minutes to work, so he ended up having to drive an hour to get work; just so he could spend a little time with me.
We have been together ever since. After only five months of dating, he moved in with me. My house was bigger than his rental and it was closer to his daughter. Oh, I forgot to tell you, Ron was also married before and had one daughter who was nine years old. Come to find out, she and her mother only lived the next town over and it was a closer drive to see her than where he currently lived. She was a good kid and fun to have around. We were always thinking of fun outings and things to do with her.
I remember one year; we made her a kitty litter birthday cake. That was so fun to make! It is just a yellow cake with chocolate frosting broken up into a litter box; with drops of green food coloring to look like mold. Ron had so much fun melting the Tootsie Rolls slightly and molding them into little kitty turds. They were everywhere!
The only hiccup was his daughter’s mother didn’t want us in the same bed when she was over because we were not married. It really was no big deal and I agreed with her reasoning. As a result, Ron slept on the sofa every other weekend for over a year. Around that time, I figured he had slept on the sofa long enough and I mentioned that we probably should get married. Ron agreed.
Given that we both had been married previously and neither one of us were much into the ceremony and cost of a wedding; we picked a date; July 12. We proceeded over to the County Courthouse to meet the Justice of the Peace. In just 10 short minutes, we were married.
Our honeymoon was very simple and short. A couple of days in a small cabin up in the mountains of North Georgia and our wedding dinner was Mexican and beer. Right up my alley! I was very happy and felt everything was perfect.
MY Big Mistake
After about six years, things started to change and not for the better.
As a back story; Atlanta traffic isn’t any fun to start, but back in 1999, it activated a severe case of Panic Disorder in me when I was offered my dream job in Mid-Town Atlanta. I would become extremely panicky any time I had to drive close to Atlanta highways; shaking uncontrollably, dizzy, and major stomach problems. This was not a good scenario, especially when I had to drive down through that mess to get to work every day. But, with therapy, medication, and internal coping mechanisms, I managed to make the drive on my own and eventually became accustomed to the chaotic routine. But I sure detested driving anywhere near there if I didn’t have to go to work.
I preferred the quiet country roads of North Georgia, where I lived.
In light of that fact, when Ron and I went somewhere together, he would always drive. At first this arrangement was fine but as the years wore on, he started getting angrier and angrier. He was always a little irritated when he drove; I jokingly called it “Jersey Road Rage”, but then it started getting a little unnerving.
His temper became so bad that even though I wasn’t doing the driving, he would trigger my Panic Disorder. He would yell, cuss, do daring maneuvers and get so irate. I had never seen anything like it before and frightened me quite a bit. I started hating going anywhere with him.
The only time he was decent driving was when his daughter was with us. Why can’t he have the same restraint and respect when I was the only one in the car?
Another issue that started about this same time; Ron suddenly became sullen and moody. He would either ignore me like I wasn’t there; even when I was talking right to him or he was complaining about something or other trivial. Plus, he was never an overly affectionate person, which normally would be fine with me. Being from a Mid-Western Dutch family, we don’t advocate much PDA (Public Display of Affection); so, I was perfectly on board with the lack of public attention. However, at home I hardly received any interest either; he acted like he didn’t care or even liked me anymore.
Just as these issues with Ron were getting worse, an old boyfriend from 15 years ago friended me on Facebook. We started by catching up on old friends and co-workers; when he revealed to me he had made a big mistake by letting me go to marry my first husband. He should have told me back then how he really felt about me. That was a shock!
It started getting a little more intimate between the two of us. As Ron paid less and less attention to me; this friend showed more and more interest in me, talked with me, called me special names; something I definitely wasn’t getting at home. From there it went from Facebook messaging to phone calls and text messages. I was making plans to leave Ron and move down to his home. I knew deep down this man wasn’t my ideal partner, but at least he made me feel good about myself. That was enough for now. I also knew if I left, it wouldn’t last between, but at least I would be out of another marriage where the man treated me like nothing special.
Right in the middle of this “affair”, Ron confronted me about the large number of texts I was receiving from a phone number he didn’t recognize. Crap! Was he was spying on me? Why did he even care?
Come to find out, he actually did care. That’s news to me! We had a lot of discussions regarding the issues surrounding my contemplation of leaving him for someone else and what he needed to do for me to stay and save our marriage. I told him that I wasn’t going to put up with his anger any longer, especially in the car and I want more attention from him. He agreed.
After a few months of awkwardness, life was once again perfect. Which lasted for the next 12 years.
I also made a vow right then and there that if things ever went wrong between us again, I wouldn’t go the route of finding someone else as an excuse to move on. If his attitude changed yet again, I would just up and leave. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought that I needed to put that vow to the test and how hard it would be to implement.
The Start of an Obsession
If you haven’t read some of my other posts, Breaking News – and The Ninth Circle of Hell, I suggest that you ought to because you will appreciate that living with my mother was no easy task. Along with the COVID lock-down and a retirement buy-out from his company, I knew Ron was dealing with as much as I was trying to adjust to a new life. Taking all that into consideration, I figured after my mother finally moved out there would be some adjustment, but nothing like what transpired over the next year and a half.
Over the summer, things went fairly well. I think we were mostly shell-shocked from what had happened over the previous nine months and a little giddy that it was all over. The first time I noticed that something was amiss was at Thanksgiving that year. It has been a tradition that we went to Ron’s brother and sister-in-law’s home to celebrate. In addition to us, there were always others joining the celebration so they wouldn’t be alone for the holiday. One was a friend of Ron’s and his wife. I thought nothing of it at the time, we always spent time with quite a few different couples and there has never been an issue.
I was helping in the kitchen; when I went to take a break, I saw Ron outside talking on the back deck with his friends’ wife. I thought I would go see what was going on; something I would normally do, nothing out of the ordinary. I always liked hanging around with Ron and I never had an inkling our entire marriage that Ron would ever have or even thought about having an affair. As, I was walking out, I heard her say “I really hate it when people interrupt your conversation.”. Ok, what was that all about? The next comment was a complete shocker. Ron turned to me and said “Yeah. So what are you still doing here?” Hun?? What the hell?? He had never, ever, talked to me that way in our entire 19-year relationship. I just turned around without saying a word and walked back into the house. Later he came up to me laughing and saying he was just kidding. But, was he?
I shrugged it off at the time as on one off; maybe he had a little too much to drink. How wrong I was. As we spent more time with that particular couple, Ron started to change into someone I didn’t even recognize.
But First, A Little Oppression
After the first of the new year, Ron commenced becoming more and more enraged over the littlest thing. His face would change into something very scary; his eyes would bulge out of his head and his mouth would contort into some type of monster. He even threatened to kill the dogs when they did their usual dog things; such as, getting under foot or barking too much. He always said he was just kidding or saying that out of frustration, but the way he was acting, I didn’t know for sure.
I tried many times to get him to talk with me. I asked nicely, I yelled, and all I got was “I’m fine” or “Nothing’s wrong”.
By Spring, the ignoring phase began. For example, I needed to get my gardens back in order now that I had some time and was beginning to get my energy back. I was able to do most of it myself but needed help with the mulch. The bags are too heavy for me to move and especially to lift and pour out. I asked Ron to help me; all he did was move them to where I wanted them, then turned and walked away. So, I had to try and lift those big mulch bags up and over so I could put it where I wanted before spreading it out. My back has always bothered me and with a couple of injuries over the years, my back was killing me by the end of the day.
Another oddity was whenever I passed by the garage, Ron would just be sitting there at his workbench, hunched over his cellphone. Every now and then when I saw him like that, I would teasingly say, “talking to your girlfriend?” and laugh. Not realizing how close to the mark I was.
I was considering talking with him while we were at the beach house over the Memorial Day weekend. We had made plans to meet friends there for a long weekend (by the way, that included his friend and wife, that I mentioned previously.) My plan was to wait until they left and hopefully hash this out with Ron because I was pretty much done with his attitude and considering leaving him unless things changed.
The clincher to definitely talk to him about what was going on was when we arrived at the beach house. He was dragging our dog, Jack, down the walkway and yelling at him to hurry up. This poor dog was 10 years old, in heart failure and had arthritis; he wasn’t moving anywhere fast.
I told Ron to “Knock it off.” He immediately turned to look at me with that awful angry face he had and yelled “I will NOT knock it off. I just spent seven hours in a car, he can move his ass.”
That was it, I was done!! I am not dealing with this anymore, he is going to make a change, or I am out of here. I still didn’t want to make a big commotion between us prior to our friends coming the next day, so my plans were to confront him after they left in a few days. I never had a chance. Within a few hours, I was positively leaving and hurt almost beyond repair.
Come back next Monday to find out what happened. What was my reaction? Is it repairable? Is there more to come?